The Midnight News 6.21.01 

Posted By Hyatte on 06.21.01

Austin, Page, Another babe who will pretend to like you for $$, CRZ doubts SK, and the Tonk. 

So, the general consensus is.... "Yeah, it was time to kill the Mop-Ups."

Cool. I had my time in the sun. 

I always figured I'd do a bang up farewell deal where I send out last shots to everyone. Slam everyone. Maybe spend a few months giving Scott Keith a flogging he seems to really need.... but....

But... bleh. Scaia sucks, you all know it. No need for me to repeat it for the millionth time.

Ironically, I am pretty much doing what Remy Artiega wanted me to do in the first place. Stop the Mop-Ups and apply my style to the news in a weekly deal. I wasn't ready then.

Out with a whimper, not with a bang.

Oh hey, you have GOT to pick up Rick Reilly's Life of Reilly book at your nearest bookstore. You all probably know Reilly, he writer the end piece in each issue of Sports Illustrated. He is the guy I read to get pumped for every installment of AAT. The book is a collection of his columns and other articles collected. It's a must read for sports fans and column writers alike. 

Let's roll:

WHO WATCHED THIS CRAP?

Well it's old news now.... but what kind of news guy would I be if I didn't report the almighty RATINGS??

Well, I'd be a Shooter, I guess. (Jeeze, what happened to THEM?)

Break out the champagne, Raw SKYROCKETTED up a FULL tenth of a rating point and drew a tight 4.2 for this week. Last week, they drew a paltry 4.1. The WWF is BACK!! Pro Wrestling is BACK!!!!! HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN!!!!!!!!

At this rate, they'll be doing Nitro numbers during Kevin Sullivan's reign by Labor Day.

The bad news, WWF Sunday Night Heat drew a 1.0 on MTV. Officially, this means Heat's sole audience are the goobers who have to recap it.

Umm, let's give this news credit to The Torch

AUSTIN SPEAKS!!!

Dave Scherer snagged a sit down with "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. Dave made it clear that this is 1wrestling's property and NO ONE can touch it unless they say so....

Well, if I recap it as a commercial.... AND supply a link up. I think they won't mind. 

So, here is a select cut/commercial for the Interview with Stone Cold Steve Austin at 1Wrestling.

First up, Dave asks about Austin's injury. Austin says that he is all (blank) and is feeling (blank). So long as he stays away from (blanks) and landing on top of his (blank), he should be (blank)

-Dave asks about the ten German Suplex's Benoit gave him. Austin said that he (blanks) Benoit and just was concerned about (blanking) right. 

-Dave asked about his killer work ethic, and how many other wrestlers wouldn't have tried to come back. Austin says that his Daddy (all wrestlers call their parents "Daddy" and "Momma") told him "Steve, if you're gonna do something (blank), don't half (blank) it." It's a (blank) he's stuck with all his life. He doesn't know how to do anything at less than 100 and (blank) percent.

-Austin enjoys being the (blank) and it was a work in progress for weeks leading up to his (blank) at (blank).

-Austin refuses to give credit to whomever decided that he should turn (blank)

-Austin thinks the (blank) moves in (blanks). He calls it a bit of a transition. He (blanks) working with the (blank) guys since (blank) and (blank) are out for a while.

-He is hoping (blank) will step up to the plate and try to (blank) for a slot at the (blank) of the (blank)

-This isn't getting TOO annoying, is it?

-Austin took great (blank) in showing up (blank) who said he couldn't sell (blank) and had no shot at (blank)

-He has no problems with (blank). He says that (blank) never made (blank), instead, they (blanked) them. (Blank) never shattered any (blanks) or had much longevity. It's because (blank) never had a real good (blank).

-He said that talent was never a problem with (blank). he said (blanks) problem was that it was a "cesspool of (blank)".

-Austin's reason for staying in the business is that this is what he's (blank) at. He can't really (blank) anything (blank). The business is in his (blank). He's (blanked) on it.

-He calls his match with (blank) at (blank) his favorite moment ever. (hint, he never tapped)

-He explained the reasoning behind (Blank) 3:16 and how it only worked because (blank) had cut a religious (blank) on him beforehand.

-He is hesitant to (blank) a book, even though he was the (blank) guy who was (blanked). His problem is that he simply cannot (blank) all the (blanks) like (blank) Foley could.

-He comes from a family of (blanks) so his recent Heel turn into being a more (blankier) Heel comes natural. He says his current (blank) is just a natural (blank) from where he (blank).

That's as far as I'm going with this. (Blank) you.

To read the FULL interview, brave the Pop-Up ads and go
here

SURPRISING NEWS

Just as they did with Dallas Page, the WWF plan on keeping each and every WCW signee top secret. When guys like Booker, Buff, RVD, and Kwee Wee show up on WWF TV, they will make DAMN sure that NO ONE reports it first and ruins the surprise for everyone!! In other words, keep you damn fool mouth SHUT, Mr Insider!

Truth be told, even if Kwee Wee's signing is announced WEEKS in advance and every step in his introduction on Raw is detailed right down to the color of his socks.... it will STILL be a shocker when he shows up on TV.

This is what RF Video says, anyway.

PAGENTRY

Scherer says that he is 99.9% sure that Dallas Page will figure heavily in WCW, NOT in the WWF. Although he blew his first promo, he'll be a part of the WCW side of a big several man tag match which will headline Invasion next month.. Usually, Dave waits until he is 100% sure, but 1wrestling has guys like Meltzer and (heh) Keller breathing down their necks.... so they have to take some chances, dammit!

I will go out on a limb and say that all roads are so far pointing to the Undertaker "raiding" the new WCW for a little WWF star power when/if the damn show debuts. 

CAN YOU SAY.... SUPERCARD??

Add Jeff Hardy vs X-Pac for the Light Heavyweight title for King of the Ring. 

Meltzer was kind enough to post this for free and NOT add it to his newsletter.

VAGUE CRZ AOL MESSAGE TO ME OF THE WEEK

Well, I was on AIM, congratulating Widro on finally dumping Chris William's useless ass when, out of the clear blue...

"I have voluntarily withdrawn from the nTo due to increasing gayness in the ranks"

Okay... I JUMPED at the chance and managed to grab him for a few minutes. I sent him an excerpt from a recent interview Scott Keith did (oy) where Keith said:

"TheSmarks.com gets about 250,000 page views a week, and Wrestleline gets somewhere on the order of 5,000,000, I believe, but I don't have exact numbers for Wrestleline."

Begging for a response.... for a full ten minutes, I get this:

"I find this... very unlikely"

Then, I ended up speaking to CRZ's girlfriend.... alone. I grilled her and built up a fairly good character study. Oh, she had major walls up and full defenses going.... and she probably thinks she kept me at bay.... but I got answers out of her. She doesn't know it, but I got answers.

My best asset, everyone underestimates me.

You know how bad "Public Displays of Affection" are? Try dealing with CYBER Displays of Affection". Many times, I felt like puking.

SPEND THE DAY WITH CHUNKY A

"Hello all...I've been asked so many times by my fans if they could ever meet me, so I've decided to create a day for you and me to spend together!" 

That is from Midajah. Midajah has officially thrown her lips into the EBay fray and is now offering up a date to the highest bidder.

This is what you get:

*A day in Los Angeles where you get to be chauffeured around town with her. (The driver is armed, so don't try to finger her)

*A personal workout with Midajah at her favorite gym (Where she will undoubtedly laugh at you)

*Lunch (watch her eat, then follow her to the bathroom to see her blow it)

*Shopping on Rodeo Drive (dude, you can't even afford to tip the bathroom attendant)

*Dinner at a hot LA nightspot. (Watch Corey Feldman hit on Midajah, watch Midajah take the bait and dump your candy ass)

*All the photos with Midajah you can handle. (For God's sake, bring your wide lens)

You have to GET to LA on your own, but after that.... she'll take care of you.

Be warned... if you're a freak, a sicko, an idiot, or fat... Midajah has the right to cancel the date. (Thus, the entire Wrestleline crew is poop out of luck)

Currently, the first and only bid is at $2500, but you have 4 days and a few hours left.

Okay stud.... give her a shot and go here.

BUT, PLUGS

Tom Daniels, yeah, that's right... Tom F-ING Daniels has cobbled together another thrillfest badly disguised as a column called
Cheap Heat. This week, Tom lists the ten best Heels EVER!!! Read it. Ponder. Read it again. Ponder some more. Print it and stick it in your Bible. This is your NEW Religion.

That's it. Keep your eyes on the 411 Newsboard. Widro should be getting the latest Torch Newsletter any time now... so he'll be jamming the board with all the news Keller does NOT want you to see for free.

He may be gone for three weeks, but that's why we have ARCHIVES

TAKE US HOME, HONKY

From the Honky Tonk Man's web site....

On Dallas Page:

If this is true, then I can say the new WCW will suffer. Nothing against Dallas Page, but I don't think at his age(40 or more yrs. old) he will bring too much to the table. Whoever did his face lift needs to have their medical license pulled. They F***ed him up. Maybe I am wrong, but you don't build a new company with "old" faces.

And on Terry Taylor:

Word is, "Red Rooster" Terry Taylor is opening a wrestling school. To my knowledge when Rooster was the trainer at the now closed WCW Power Plant, he didn't train anyone. He is remembered behind the scenes as the guy that stooged to "Puke Face" Bishoff about Ole Anderson, which in turn got Ole fired only to be replaced by the "Red Rooster." I guess he can teach the students to do his famous "cock-a-doddle-doo" or maybe that was "any-cock-will-doo."

Ow... OWW... Holy COW!

That's all the news I've got. Not a bad lineup. I do all right, don't I?

Ahh.... I'm gone. I love this no Mop-Up thing. I expect no one to dedicate columns to why I changed the face of the Net. But I know I did.... AND SO DO YOU!!! BWAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

This is Hyatte